Archive for July, 2006

Let me put my trousers on

This evening I had just plugged my phone and computer in for a recharge when there was a loud crackle and all the power went out. I lay on my bed listening for while and heard someone emerge from one of the other rooms in my corner of the building. ‘Vot haz happened?’, I heard him ask himself. I emerged from my room to find the young German man named Torsten standing in front of the fuse box in his boxer shorts. He stopped fiddling about and turned to apologize, ‘ I sink maybe dis vas de sauce of de problem’. He held up his power cable with a very fragile looking adapter hanging off its end. I fiddled about in the fuse box with him for a short while before he suggested he might have to go see someone at reception. I agreed. He paused and then said ‘Just let me put my trousers on’, and disappeared back into his room.

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Golden Fruit

Shortly after arriving in Auckland I discovered that bananas are abundant and cheap here, evidently New Zealand has no problem importing them from South America. Such a lovely sweet yellow fruit, I have sorely missed them since Cyclone Larry blasted our banana crops. To think they have been here all this time, a mere three hour flight over the pacific.

I went to the zoo today and encountered a number of animals I had never seen before, including the wanker monkey (pictures removed for the children). This fellow was happily twiddling his tiny pink penis for the crowd, as well as letting his pals finger his arsehole, before he turned his back to us and jerked off into the bushes.

I wondered whether he considered this to be all just part of his show. Kind of like the simian GG Allin. He had been watching his pals doing standard monkey stuff for the crowd, and thought “fuck this, let’s give these cunts a show they won’t forget”. Or maybe he is just an old jaded monkey, sitting there on his log playing with his dick thinking to himself “Ohh well, another day another banana”. Stupid bloody monkey doesn’t know how good he has it. I have been craving bananas so much since the Cyclone; I would have happily masturbated in public for them.

Waiting for the bus

This morning I met a man who was so anxious to catch the bus, he was standing in the middle of the road waiting for it.