Shortly after arriving in Auckland I discovered that bananas are abundant and cheap here, evidently New Zealand has no problem importing them from South America. Such a lovely sweet yellow fruit, I have sorely missed them since Cyclone Larry blasted our banana crops. To think they have been here all this time, a mere three hour flight over the pacific.
I went to the zoo today and encountered a number of animals I had never seen before, including the wanker monkey (pictures removed for the children). This fellow was happily twiddling his tiny pink penis for the crowd, as well as letting his pals finger his arsehole, before he turned his back to us and jerked off into the bushes.
I wondered whether he considered this to be all just part of his show. Kind of like the simian GG Allin. He had been watching his pals doing standard monkey stuff for the crowd, and thought “fuck this, let’s give these cunts a show they won’t forget”. Or maybe he is just an old jaded monkey, sitting there on his log playing with his dick thinking to himself “Ohh well, another day another banana”. Stupid bloody monkey doesn’t know how good he has it. I have been craving bananas so much since the Cyclone; I would have happily masturbated in public for them.