Being Owen Wilson

It is happening again.

Random people have started asking me if anyone has ever told me I look like Owen Wilson. It stopped for several years, but now that I am jobless again and feeling positive about the future, it has started all over again. Somehow my relaxed state of mind is correlated with people perceiving my inner Owen-ness.

It started five years ago when my friend Mark insisted on showing me graphic images of dead bodies he had acquired on some god-forsaken bulletin board. I didn’t want to look, but by the time I escaped I was already feeling faint. I tumbled forward onto the floor as I lost consciousness. When I woke, Mark was looking down at me, ‘are you ok man?’. At the time it was just a little bloody nose and a sore face. It wasn’t until later I realized the shape of my nose had been irrevocably changed, and with it I became the other Wilson twin.

So today I am sitting here thinking about Owen, wandering what his life is like, and how fate brought our noses together. He is a funny guy and I am not at all unhappy to be compared to him, although he occasionally picks some dud roles. I also wonder if one day he will get sick of having such a unique proboscis and get plastic surgery to correct that flat bit. On that day will people start saying to him, “Hey Owen, do you know that you look like that John Normal guy, before he fell on his face and started looking like you.”

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  1. I never realised your nose changed shape that drastically. But glad to be of service, I suppose. ;/

    Personally I think you look more like F1 driver Jarno Trulli:

    or Sharlto Copley, a.k.a. the hapless Vickus in District 9. 🙂

  2. *oh, Vickus = Wikus

    • Alex
    • May 30th, 2011

    I should probably let it be known that there was a time when I thought to myself that John bloke would look a lot like Owen Wilson if it weren’t for his nose.. Then I forgot about it.

  3. My cloning program is starting to pay off…

    Go forth my little babies and reproduce, we will normalize the entire world to a perfect Gaussian distribution of bent noses. Muuu ha ha haaaaa.

    • David Human
    • May 31st, 2011

    Yeah, you totally look like him apart from the nose.

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