Archive for July, 2011

Sex Bots are Coming

Are you someone who would buy a ‘pleasure bot’, or not ?

I ask it that way because ‘sex bot’ is probably not how they will be eventually marketed, euphemisms are the key to making adult products mainstream, just think of all the vibrators that have been sold as personal massagers.

No, ‘sex bots’ do not exist yet, so don’t go rushing down to Walmart with your credit card. In spite of Jude Law’s fantastic portrayal of one in AI, they are still just a hypothetical product category, about which we can only philosophize.

We can be sure that a great deal of that philosophizing will be from people who believe they should never be created. Undoubtedly they will ruin our society for one of a handful of reasons, mostly related to moral codes created by people who believed they had a personal relationship with a manifestation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. However, as anyone who watches technology closely knows, if there is an adult/erotic/porn application for a technology, then it will be used that way. I will gladly go on the record right now (in defiance of the Black Swan guy) and make a bold prediction: sex bots are coming (no pun intended) and they are going to disrupt our society like nothing you have ever seen before.

Why am i so confident? Well the precedents are all in place, let me list them.

1) I know many women whose sex lives are already completely dependent on their vibrators (not my girlfriend of course).

2) As a society the single person is the fastest growing demographic category, and apartment design is beginning to reflect that fact.

3) Shame about masturbation is rapidly diminishing ( just spend a hour on twitter to convince yourself )

Finally, you need to know that engineers love robots. They want to build them for us, their employers just haven’t found the right market. There are robots that sweep floors, pretend to be our pets, or watch patiently over the elderly while we waste our evenings playing Farmville. These were all cute ideas, but what the women of the world really want is a life size replica of Brad Pitt (or Owen Wilson ), that can pound them until they press the stop button, and then lay in bed stroking their hair and reading them their text messages.

The only reason this product don’t exist yet is because fat white male corporate executives are scared shitless that it will demonstrate just how sexually incompetent they are. But as we all learned from Napster, you can not hold off innovation for ever. The sooner we get around to giving women what they want, the sooner we can avoid having to endure yet another ‘Sex in the City‘ movie. The downside guys, is that we will never see women again, they will spend their entire lives shopping on the Internet, in between sex romps with their small entourage of Hollywood look-a-likes.

Now here is where my predictions start to get weird. The only people left on the streets will be men. Hordes of lost, purposeless men, because psychology has shown us that men do everything for the attention of women. Deprived of that attention, Mankind will wander aimlessly. Until, inevitably, men begin to fill that void in their lives by turning gay, because as we haven’t found the gay gene, being gay must be a choice. So, as a result of these machines our society will become segregated, with all of the women becoming reclusive nymphomaniacs addicted to their plastic fuck buddies, while all the men become ultra-buff fags, fucking each other in the streets with reckless abandon.

My money is on Google producing the first pleasure bot, although given the havoc that these devices are about to wreak upon our society I think Apple would be a more appropriate brand to get the whole market going.

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God 1 : Atheists 0

I have just read an incredible post that provides the most incredible proof of the existence of God and the power of prayer.

What are the odds that a bomb disposal technician would one day have a bomb detonate and injure him. But that the bomb (an improvised explosive – manufactured in a impoverished country) would fail to function properly, so that he requires only minor surgery. Not only that, but that this technician’s family, coming from a society that regularly prays for people, would have only just that previous week been asking people to pray that he comes home safely. You simply could not calculate improbability of such an event, we do not have statistical models or computers that could handle the number of decimal places.

Take that atheists !

Gene Pool

Bathroom Gender Differentiation in Suite 212, Stuttgart, Germany